Amazingly enough I made it through finals alive! I finished my last final Wednesday morning. I was definitely glad to get them all done and over with, but having 5 finals in two days was more stressful than I really expected. Thankfully I spent a decent amount of studying last week, and was able to get a decent start on preparing for this week, because when it came to concentrating this week, I simply was not able. I actually tried really hard, starting Saturday, to spend a lot of time hitting the books, but no matter how hard I tried, I just could not concentrate and progressively got less productive. By Tuesday, I had difficulty concentrating on anything, did not feel well, and just wanted to quit and go home. I'm really not sure how the final grades ended up, even though I studied harder this semester than some, I don't know how much better my finals grades will be. Hopefully better than I expect.
Anyway, walking out of my last exam on Wednesday morning was amazing. The burden of the semester was lifted, and I felt relaxed and happy again. Now I can officially start my Christmas break.
Recently in church, the sermon was about Gideon and his tiny band of men. Basic moral of the story, God took every advantage away from Gideon and left him with 300 or so men. Logically, there was no way that Gideon, with what he had been given, could have completed what God had asked him to. Does that sound familiar to you? It does me. Gideon had to put all of his trust in God, that He would pull through, even if it did not make sense logically. Even Gideon seemed to struggle with this though. He asked God for multiple signs before he was convinced. Also, just think of how obscure God's plan was. To my knowledge he didn't tell Gideon how it was going to play out. He simply gave him step by step directions to follow. I can't imagine that it made much sense to Gideon at the time. How many times do we try to out-logic God? I think about this a lot while I'm trying to figure out what is going to happen to my future. I've struggled in school thus far, and finding a job will be difficult. At least from a big-name company that everyone seems to go after. As far as an academic standpoint, I feel like Gideon with not so many assets to my professional career. It's all God now. Which it always has been, but now its painfully obvious that the only way that I will get anywhere is by his grace and will. Not to be overlooked, the men Gideon let go were the ones who were unprepared, or unwilling to stay around. Those who were left were alert, brave and purposed to be there. They were ready for what ever would come. Think about their faith! They were going to be the ones doing the actual fighting. I wonder what their thoughts were. They probably were fully expecting to be killed quite quickly. But they still stayed. They would fight to the death. Just like the 3 in the fiery furnace. The told Darius that their God would deliver them from the furnace, but even if he wouldn't, that they would not bow down to the golden statue.
So as I look forward, I am doing my best to be content following those step-by-step directions given by God. I can't see where it is all going, and probably won't until I get there; but I know there is a destination in mind.
I was listening to a sermon the other day and the minister defined success as Peace, Joy and Love. that is so true. If we had these three things, then we would have all we would ever need. But the important part is, where do we find these?
People who seek after riches don't want the money, they want what they think they can buy. They seek for peace by purchasing ease of living and ridding their lives of what seems to be removing that peace. Think about the partying and the alcoholism going on around us. People are simply seeking joy. They seek this joy by using alcohol to clear their mind of the reality of the pain in their life. They use it to create I think Love is one of the biggest thing people long for today. note the amount of unlasting relationships today. whether it is marriages that don't last, or even the dating scene where people stay with one person for a while, and then move on. One-night-stands, party scenes again where there are short term hook-ups. There are so many illegitimate children, and abortions, because people are seeking this love in all the wrong places. You look at some celebrities, and some seem, from a worldly standpoint, to have it made. They are always out partying, picking up women, having what seems to be so much fun. and it probably is. they probably are really enjoying their life (maybe). But its all short-term. It won't satisfy for long.
If we say that we aren't looking for the same fulfillment as the rest of the world, I think we decieve ourselves. Humans are generally the same. We have similar desires, similar needs and similar thought processes. If we were put into the shoes of someone else, who is to say we would respond any differently? we probably would be in the exact same spot. The only difference between us and the rest of the world is Christ. It's not that YOU decided to bring him into your heart, it is because HE came in. Christians aren't better than the rest of the world. we aren't necessarily more kind, happier, more giving, more loving, better examples, or any of that. Many feel we should be, and possibly so. But Christians can be just as selfish, rude, angry, sad as anybody else. I have met athiests who have been extremely kind, and charities run by agnostics. I know I have bad days, and treat people disrespectfully from time to time. I don't always represent Christ like I should, and if you think that you always do, then you aren't being honest with yourself (in my opinion). The Blood of Christ is what saves us. not because we are any better in any aspect than anybody else. Its what Christ has done, not what we have done or will do.
Am I saying that we shouldn't represent Christ? Am I saying that it doesn't matter how we act? Am I saying that people shouldn't see a difference in us, or that there shouldn't be a difference? Not at all! I think there should be, and that it is a fine goal to be sure, but honestly, how different are we as people? I would submit not very much. This topic came to mind when an atheist came up to our Free Bible Now table to talk. We tried to describe why it was better to be a Christian, and what the difference between us and them are. We tried to describe why we had a better standard of living, and how we were happier, and more loving and more kind... it sounds ridiculous to say, but that is how we think. It was a hard argument, and one that he easily and quickly punched holes in. There are literally countless of examples of Christians behaving in the opposite manner. So that's not it. It slowly boiled down to the hope that we have in Christ. That when we die we will live with him. And that we have been saved by his blood. Not because we are nicer people, but because HE redeemed us.
Now it is hard to describe the peace that lives inside of us, but that too, can be substituted with worldly things. It's not lasting, and it will come to an end, but atheists can find a peace as well. True peace? true love? true joy? I would say probably not, but enough so that they can live happy productive lives too.
Just remember, It's not because of ourselves that we have been saved, It's because of Christ.
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