Thoughts of a Senior

So I don't claim to be very wise, in fact I know many ways where I am quite foolish.  God has, however, taught me a few things these last four years about being a young Christian and about getting through college.  I just figured I would share them.  I'm not very good at all of them, mind you, but they have proven helpful for me. So here goes:

-          Make wise investments (college is an investment)

o   Choose the things that will last:  There are many things demanding our time and attention,  they are not all worth it.

o   Learn the difference between friends and friendships:  friends are a noun, friendship is a verb.  Choose to invest in friendships that last.  Friends are great, but know which to choose first.

o   Not everything is worth investing :  What will the return on investment be?  Is it going to grow and become more valuable? will it lose it's value?  Will it not make a return?  Would your investment be better served elsewhere?

-          Live with an open heart

o   Use your talents in love

o   Don't be sealed off to those around.

o   You can't find real joy by looking inward.

-          Seek to learn before trying to teach

o   Be teachable and moldable

o   Know where to go for wisdom

§  Don’t rely on yourself to answer the questions you don’t know

 (PROV 12:15) The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.

o   Don’t be too proud to ask for help

o   Prove all things, hold fast to that which is good (I Thess 5:21)

§  Some things will seem good, but won’t be

§  Some things won’t seem good, but will be

-          Spent alone time with God so much sin comes when we are bored with God.

o   Be fascinated by Him

o   Get to know Him

o   Be excited by Him

o   Seek His heart

o   Trust Him in all things

o   Allow that relationship to be enough

-          Sometimes the only thing you can do is keep stepping.

o   If you can't do anything else, just do that.

-          Life has begun, learn to enjoy where you are

o   It doesn’t get better than now

o   The past is yesterday's now, while the future is tomorrow's. when we look beyond now, we find it is a figment of our imagination, an interpretation of what now was, or speculation of what it will be.  The future cannot be better than now, as it does not exist until now.  The past is simply an accumulation of the nows that brought us here.  While it brought us this far, it will take us no further, except to receive this now which will take us to the next. The only moment, and indeed the best one, is right now.  The past is built from it, and the future will become it, so be happy to receive it.

 

Clinging to Righteousness, Standing on Grace

A brief insight to my spiritual walk goes like this.  I try really hard, and I fall really hard.  That pretty much sums up every day of my walk with God.  Sometimes I do well and sometimes I go bottoms up. 

A picture came to my mind of a climbing rope hung very high.  I am at the bottom of this rope,  Righteousness is at the top.  Everyday I get on this rope, and climb.  Some days I climb way up, and other days I barely get off the floor.  Sometimes my hand slips and I fall all the way back down.  Sometimes it feels like all I can do is hold the rope.  No matter what I do, though, I never reach the top.

So how then, do I become righteous, if I cannot climb my way to the top?  I find myself at this point now.  I have climbed so far, and yet I find myself fallen yet again.  God has promised that He will be with me, and that He will help me if I trust Him, and follow Him.  So where does that leave me? If I cannot climb to God, how do I reach Him?

The only thing that comes to mind is that I am standing on grace.  When I lose my grip, all my strength is lost, and I find myself fallen, hurt, tired and sore; I look at where I have fallen and must believe that this floor is grace.  I've fallen into grace.  Perhaps I'm not standing on the bottom at all, perhaps it is actually the hand of God that has caught me.  I think that God wants me to climb this rope, but understand that when I fall, it isn't to the ground, It is into Him; Into the blood of Christ.  If it is any other way I will never make it.  I cannot climb this rope to the top.  That is why I must believe that my strength isn't keeping myself from falling, but that it is the grace of God.  When I am on the rope, I tend to forget this, that somehow I am doing the work.  It's not until my strength gives out that I realize how feeble I am without grace to keep me up.

Thank you Lord for Grace

Running wide open

Life right now is indeed an adventure.  Sometimes I will be trudging through the mundane, and other times I find myself sprinting just to keep up with traffic. Poor example maybe, but let me explain.  Just last week I was in a spot, forcing myself to study, feeling pretty typical of what college life tends to be.  Yesterday, however, was nothing of the kind. 

As internships, career possibilities and life continues to unfold around me, huge changes in my life are happening incredibly fast.  Life up to this point has been very predictable.  I will be in school forever.  Graduation always felt like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you are running towards it, but it doesn't ever seem any closer. My plan of study, up until yesterday was this.  15 credits (5 classes) left.  Internship this summer, one more semester of school.  I was thinking of taking some classes online over the summer, then coming back to Purdue in the fall to finish up remaining credits, perhaps working part time.  Things were starting to wrap up, but I still had a fair amount of time before making real decisions.  I met with my adviser, and as she analyzed the classes I had taken in my previous major, she concluded that I could use those to cover two of the elective classes that I needed to take.  This leaves me with 9 credits left, and I can do all of them online.  So, instead of one more full semester of college,  I am done with Purdue at the end of this semester, which is quickly approaching.  I am moving out, and will not have to be on campus at all after the semester.  I will take an online class this summer, then two in the fall.  Where I won't technically graduate, I will be working full-time, or nearly full-time starting, in 2 months.  It is an incredibly surreal feeling that I'm sure every senior goes through.  I have been in school for 17 years,  graduating high school was cool because you could now buy subway for lunch and go outside between classes, but it was still school.  Now I will be set out in a new environment that I am in no way used to.

Have you ever had the experience, sightseeing or whatever, where you have to go through a tunnel or something that blocks your view right up to the end?  You are walking, all is normal, nothing extraordinary, but when you open the door and step out, the world opens up around you and seems too big to comprehend.  Yeah that's what happened. I realize that I am probably idealizing graduation just a tad, but to me, again, it's a whole new world.

Minnesota Bound!

That's right, I accepted an internship with Case New Holand in Benson Minnesota as an Industrial Engineer!  If you step through some of my recent blog posts you can see a bits of the journey that I was taken on through this, but I thought I would walk through the journey.

After much time applying for jobs, sending out resumes and emails to recruiters, two options came to the table.  One would be with CNH, which would put me in Benson, MN.  The other was Winamac Coil Spring in Winamac, IN.  The two opportunities were vastly different in scope and responsibility, as well as long term options.

With Case, the hope would be that I would do an internship, then if everything went well they would hire me on full-time upon graduation.  This option was really appealing, as I am graduating after one more semester.  Having an open door would be fantastic.  CNH is an enormous company that most have heard of, and the opportunity to be trained by professional IE's would be very helpful.  I could learn in a safe environment, and have great connections that would set me up for either a career with them, or experience valuable to other companies as well.

WCS on the other hand is a small spring company owned by the family some brothers from church.  They are looking to implement 'lean' (manufacturing philosophy minimizing waste/space/material etc.) into their plant.  They would be looking for someone with a background in lean manufacturing (which I kind-of have) to help them with the project.  I would be jumping with two feet into the fire, stretching myself to the limit and either sink or swim.  The thought of challenging myself on this level was very appealing, and I was sure I could do it.  Stressful, maybe. Rewarding, definitely.  Fantastic Resume builder, oh yeah.  At WCS I would be close to home, able to take classes at Purdue, and able to work with brothers. They did not, however, have any promise of work after the summer.  Maybe, but no guarantees.

I also considered the spiritual impact.  I feel like Minnesota would be more of a mission, as I would be called to represent Christ in a foreign land, live on my own and live Christ out without as many security features.  I would have the opportunity to interact with a new church and new social groups.  Winamac would be a very encouraging time, where I would be working closely with brothers that I really respect and have learned a lot from.

So with these options, I was able to sufficiently stress myself out. Both had different merits on many different levels and neither seemed better than the other. I went back and forth many times, but was leaning towards WCS as of Thursday (I had to decide on Monday).  I knew I should pray about it and wait, but I just wanted to make a decision and be done with it.  I decided to wait until Monday until making a decision.  I called the brother I knew from Winamac, and we discussed for a long time the different opportunities.  He was amazing in helping me sort through a lot of thoughts and factors invoved.  Towards the end of our conversation he made the comment:  'Well it seems that you have thought through both options, and they are both great opportunities, now you just need to look to God to see what He is telling you to do.'  Indeed.  I was praying a lot through this whole thing, which I think is why I didn't have a peace about my decision yet. 

As we talked on the phone, the idea of Case became stronger.  Up to this point I had hardly considered it seriously, only looking at the pros and cons of WCS.  It was then that my mind settled on interning with Case for the summer, and then pursuing part time next semester with WCS if they would still have me.  Upon this, the battle settled.  I didn't feel a huge shove in any direction, I just simply stopped wondering as much. 

The weekend passed, and I prayed that God would change my mind if He would have me do something else, but He never did.  I tried to find Case New Holand, or Springs, or something in the Bible, but couldn't.  No huge billboard saying "Stu, go here".  So I just relied on that small peace.  I did however read about making decisions out of wisdom, and trusting in God.  Encouraging, but not necessarily helpful. There were a few little things that happened.  Again not stunning, but I believe gentle nudges.  While I was on the phone with WCS, I began to see black and red everywhere (CNH's colors).  My binders, my pens.  We took a trip to ISU bible study on Thursday, and there was a kid in a Case sweatshirt.  Later, I also saw another friend wearing a Case sweatshirt.  It seemed coincidental at the time, not monumental, but I think it was a nudge.

The road to Case was also interesting, full of coincidences that combined to present the opportunity.  God seemed to be working through that, so it couldn't be ignored. (I wrote more on the story in my last post).  I just happened to go to Krannert's career fair (which I wasn't invited to). Just happened to have my resume critiqued by CNH.  Happened to run into the recruiter at a social that I barely decided to go to...  A lot of coincidence.
 
I finally called WCS with my final decision. I wanted to talk to that brother first and get his thoughts. I would go to CNH for the summer and learn from some pros, then hopefully work part-time next semester at WCS, and we would consider full-time in the future.  I told the brother, and his first words were: "You know Stu, I think you have made a wise decision."  Now that was a very encouraging confirmation.  Also big on his part to point me in a direction that would benefit me, not them as much.  I then contacted CNH and accepted the position.  When I got off the phone, I felt a peace roll over me, and a big smile cover my face.  Praise God for leading me.  I don't know where this road will take me exactly, but God does.

This process was interesting.  This is perhaps the largest decision I have made so far.  Where it is "only an internship"  As a Senior graduating in December, it will have a very large impact on my career.  As far as interviews were going, I actually ended up turning down a couple of interviews.  One of which was with Cessna Aircraft.  After I hung up the phone with them I had a panic attack "What did I just do!!!"  As I prayed later and reviewed the job description again, I felt a peace about letting it go, though.  Cessna has been kind of a dream job for me.  I took some flying lessons a while back, so the prospect of building those planes is amazing, but right now I didn't feel led that way.  Plus I couldn't consider another option or my head would explode, and I would have to turn down the Case offer before I would have the chance to interview with Cessna because of poor timing.  Not a risk I really wanted to try.  Anyway so now God has again opened up doors.  It is so amazing that just when we are nearing the end of our rope, God presents another just in time.

life rafting

I perceive the Christian experience like riding a raft down a river.  Sometimes the water is still and slow.  We can be discontent and wish more was going on, or we can soak up the sun and enjoy the view and set up for the next event.  Sometimes we encounter little bumps, push through shallow areas, avoid rocks.  Sometimes we get hung up on a rock, which is OK as long as we get off of it and learn how to avoid them.  Sometimes you come to a bend, and can only guess what is coming up next.  We get hungry and we get thirsty, but fortunately the raft is well stocked.  And occasionally we encounter a rapid, where all we can do is hang on and trust in our master guide.  If we try to get ahead of the current we will wear ourselves out, and become discouraged.  If we try to go slower than the current then we won't be prepared for what is coming, and it will feel like we are getting dragged along.  So we must stay with the current, and keep up with the will of God.

I hit some rapids this week for sure.  Not in a bad way at all, but the river is running very quickly and I'm clinging on to this raft.  It is an exhilarating ride for sure!  I cling to this raft trust that my guide knows how to navigate this river.  It is fun, actually.  If I didn't trust my guide I would be afraid, and there still is definitely a quality of unknown danger, but that is part of the thrill.   

OK so what is this big rapid you are talking about? Fair enough.  In the past week I have gotten two job offers, and along with those comes the obvious question of which one to chose and for what reasons.  Also, there comes the question of living arrangements, and alas, my vehicle is not great for traveling.  I have always known that this year would come with some extreme changes, and now I am getting to a place of making some directly life changing decisions.  I trust my guide to show me the way, and that together we will make it through,  I just have to remember to enjoy the ride! 

Suits, Ties, Clocks, Snow, Waiting, Training

So wow these last two weeks have been nuts and exciting.  Last Tuesday night I got an email about Krannert management's career fair on Thursday with resume critiques and a social on Wednesday.  I'm not in management, but I decided to attend anyway.  I figured that my technology major could help me stand out a bit from the mainstream and bring a different skillset to the table.  This decision completely changed the mundane attitude of studying, to frenzied preparation.  I had some work to do to update my resume, and companies to research.   I only found two or three companies that really held my attention, so I decided to spend most of my time and effort on these.  I armed my resume, and headed to the resume critique.

At the resume critique, recruiters from hiring companies actually come in to look over the resumes and it provides an initial, informal opportunity to chat with them.  It turns out that a rep from one of the companies (Case New Holland) was there critiquing resumes, so I patiently waited for his table to come available. As he looked over my resume and made suggestions, we chatted for a bit over some of the content.  As we talked about what my interests were and what I was looking for, he suggested that I should stop by at the career fair.  That evening was an informal social, where snacks were served and we were able to walk around and meet the recruiters.  I enjoyed this and ended up talking to several recruiters for positions of which I had no qualifications for, nor interest in, we just simply chatted.  This was mostly due to the fact that it was hard to identify what company people were with because the only indicator was on a small print name tag, so I wandered into several random conversations.  I made contact with the CNH recruiter again and he made sure that I was going to bring my resume to them later.  There was another company that I wanted to talk to, but either they weren't at the social, or I wasn't able to find them.

The next day was the career fair. I had a short list of companies I wanted to talk to, with only two really in mind.  CNH and Praxis as it were. I quickly found Praxis and chatted with the recruiter, gave my resume and then found Trevor, the CNH recruiter.  He was happy to see me and we scheduled an interview for Friday.  So long story short, we held the interview, and things went really well and he told me he would send my resume on to the next channel.  As for Praxis, I sent a follow up email and am waiting for a response.

So now this week has been just as crazy.  Tuesday was the Engineering career fair, which is enormous.  I again started pinpointing some companies that I may be interested in, including a company called Greenlee Textron.  Greenlee was holding an info session on Monday, which I attended and met the recruiters.  Meeting people beforehand makes conversation at the career fair so much nicer and builds a much better connection.  I am not a big group person anyway, so I enjoy being able to talk on a smaller setting, then meeting formally to present my resume at the career fair.  Tuesday was the career fair, where again I went through the process of talking to people, and submitting resumes and online applications.  I ran into Trevor, the CNH recruiter, again. We chatted and he told me that he had sent on my information.  So I am expecting to hear from them for a second interview soon.  I also got an interview with Greenlee, which ended up being an interesting story that I will get to.  On a different note, I also talked to a brother from church who works for a small manufacturing company and he sounded like they might be able to use an industrial engineer there.  There are a few companies that I submitted resumes to who I am expecting to hear from within the next few weeks as well.


So for the Greenlee story.  In  case you didn't know, we got a winter storm that rolled in yesterday (Wednesday).  I had an interview scheduled for yesterday morning, but the storm shut Purduedown, thus no interviews, so we had to reschedule.  We set the morning right after my first class today.  On my way to class, I realized that I was off on my days and was headed to my Friday class.  The class that I was actually scheduled for was a 2 hour lab, which meant that I would need to leave early to make my interview. Not a huge deal, but slightly unexpected.  After class is where things began to get interesting.  So it turns out, I found out later, that the password for the email system I use to keep all my accounts together expired, which halted all incoming emails.  What is worse is that the recruiter for Textron had emailed me the new meeting location, which I didn't receive.  I thought that he had forgotten, and gave him a call.  We got in touch and he confirmed that the room was 240.  240, Got it.  I assumed that it was in the same building we were scheduled in before...... bad assumption.  I was ready, I left lab, got there early and every room on the floor was dark.  It was about 10:15, interview at 10:30.  Plus in this building there was no room 240, and if there was it was hidden and not typical of an interview room.  Maybe I misheard, so I headed to the third floor where my interview with CNH was.  No luck.  I headed to the Union, again no luck.  I asked several people who looked at me funny and had no idea.  10:26, I call the recruiter again, no answer.  Maybe they were at the career center, definitely a possibility, but it was a few minutes away and didn't want to walk over there if they were at the Stewart Center.  10:33, I call again.  He answered, "Hi, I must have misunderstood, did you say that you were in room 240 at the Stewart Center?"  "No we are on the second floor of the career center."  Great.  "Got it!  I am on my way!"  oh brother, not good...  so I proceed to rush there, bounded up the stairs, plopped my things in a waiting area, grabbed my little leather folder, smoothed out my suit, put on a smile and entered. Not sure what time it was, but it was somewhere around LATE.  Probably 10:40.  We proceeded to have a good chat, I think, but 10 minutes late is kind of a big deal, no matter what the reason.

So now we wait.  I am actually very peaceful at the moment.  I have done my best.  I just got back from a resume critique, and she was not able to make suggestions.  Applications have been sent, interviews attended.  I have done the best I know how.  So now I let God guide.  He has the habit of putting us where He wants us, and I trust Him.  If I get multiple job offers, I trust He will guide my decision.  If I only get one, I trust that it will be the right one.  If I don't get any, He will open a door.  God has qualified me for the position that He wants me to be in.  My resume represents, not my own accomplishments, but rather the journey He has brought me on.  I have been able to walk into my interviews confident, not because I of myself am something, but because I know that if this is where God wants me then I am perfectly qualified.  If I am not supposed to go that way, then what is there to worry about?  I look at the story of Joseph.  God led him definitively.  Not necessarily clearly, I'm sure that he had his share of wondering what God had in mind, but when it was done, the path was obvious.  The same happened for Abraham, Noah, Isaac, Moses.  They were perfectly qualified by God for the position that He put them in, as am I.  "I will walk ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience."

God has done amazing things, and even writing this, I am amazed at the first few steps of the journey.  I know that in a few weeks I will be tested again when the other shoe on this drops.  Now I am simply excited to see what happens, real life decisions will be made within the next two months.  I am not afraid, simply aware, and I know that God will grant grace once I come to the next crossroads.

Here is a song that I love that I just quoted from.

This song gives me so much courage.  Looking back on parts of the journey, it is so obvious that God has used it to prepare me for each step.  In football we had conditioning during every practice. It was the worst part of every day.  Coach sometimes would have us sprint up hills, over and over. Perform running drills against each other, run up and down the field.  Whatever he told us to do, we were sure that it was going to be hard.  The thing is, when the game came, we were prepared.  Our bodies would react almost instinctively to plays.  Maneuvers which were difficult at the beginning of the season, were now as simple as turning.  Now, I can see the conditioning practice God has put me through.  Every struggle now has made me stronger.  I am being conditioned to battle sin and to trust God.  Areas where Satan had a firm grip on me are now starting to melt away by the grace of God.  When I prayed "God, give me strength" He did, but he has done so by training me to be strong.  When you pay a trainer to make you strong physically, he doesn't give you muscles, he teaches you how to build them.  Sometimes we need spotted.  Sometimes, we get to a point where we are physically not able to continue the exercise.  This method is called "reps till fail."  Often this is the best workout.  Once you can't lift anymore, your spotter helps you lift the weight.  If we are following God's direction, and trusting in everything that He tells us to do, I believe He will train us, and sometimes bring us to the point of fail, and we have to rely on Him.  I'm pretty sure this is what Paul means when he says to work out our soul's salvation with fear and trembling; trembling muscles and fear of injury. (maybe not, but it seems to fit the bill!)

Don't misunderstand, we can never say that we can train on our own, and get strong by ourselves. God still grants the increase. But if we think this means not having to work, it is like only listening to the trainer and expecting to get fit.  If we try to do it all on our own, without relying on His strength, then we will be crushed in an instant and our labor is in vain.

Shooting on Campus

So today around noon I got a text from Purdue's texting service that a shooting had been reported on campus in the EE building and to avoid the area.  We get bulletins like this fairly frequently if there is a robbery or if there is something else happens.  Typically they don't mean much to me and I ignore them, so when I read it, my initial response was just to ignore it.  In the next few hours, though, the reality of what had happened started to sink in.  Apart from the text and an e-mail stating the same thing, I didn't have any other information.  I was at the apartment and just stayed there.  I had a class at 1:30 which is about when they sent another e-mail stating that campus was safe again, so with a few reservations I headed to my 1:30 class.  The only conversation that I heard on my walk was about what happened and speculation of what was really going on.  I was slightly apprehensive as my classroom was right next to EE and I walked right by officers to get to my class. There were a few helicopters circling which gave a very eerie feeling to the campus. Needless to say it was hard for anyone to really concentrate in my next two labs.  We carried on pretty much business as usual, though.  It wasn't until I started to read the news reports that I started to feel that this was way out of place.  It isn't everyday you can go to CNN and find your university on breaking news. 

From the information I have gotten so far: there was one shooter who targeted a TA.  He walked into the laboratory, shot the TA and then walked out and gave himself up to the police.  There were rumors of multiple suspects and multiple casualties but those seemed to just be rumors. 

As of now, they have cancelled classes for the rest of today and for tomorrow (after the ones I went to of course).  It was initially exciting that we got classes off, but again it is weird because of the reasoning for it. Anyway so yeah it has been a strange day.